Pathetic Lifeforms or the Lessons of Life Section1
by Archaeologist
Summary: The day Obi-Wan first heard the term pathetic lifeforms.


"Pathetic lifeforms." Obi-Wan's voice crackled with indignation. "I can't believe it. They called us pathetic lifeforms, Master."

Qui-Gon Jinn made no reply. He was too busy trying to fly the shuttle, dodging energy bolts, fighting air currents that threatened to overturn them at any moment. He spared a brief glance at Obi-Wan. Thankfully, he had buckled himself in even as they had left the Palace grounds behind. But the frown on Obi-Wan's face was deeply embedded. Being told that he was pathetic was not acceptable.

While Qui-Gon was fighting to win free of the obstacles of air and the angry mob even now shooting long-range weapons at the fleeing Jedi, Obi-Wan continued to mutter to himself. Gazing down through the viewscreen, in the ever-increasing distance, a frenzied crowd of Cetrinoids jumped and howled and shook their huge clawed paws into the air.

Obi-Wan shook his head. What was going on here?

The giant felines had seemed very happy to see them at first. When they had arrived, the King himself had greeted them. Five meters tall, powerfully built with razor-sharp claws, the creme-and-orange striped fur did nothing to hide his enormous curved teeth or the gleam in his ebony eyes whenever he looked at the Jedi.

He had ushered them both into the main dining hall and seemed to show them every courtesy - petting their hair, sniffing at their hands. Obi-Wan hadn't minded that since the large snout was warm and tickley to the touch and everything appeared to be okay. His stoic Master was a bit tense, holding himself in ready stance and looking about the hall with a worried look on his face but that could have been because Master Qui-Gon was getting the same petting treatment from another of the huge Cetrinoids.

But when the King started licking Obi-Wan's hair and neck and making purring noises, it was too much. He backed away and the growling royal feline grabbed his cloak with unsheathed claws, yanking at his arm just as the huge teeth clamped onto his ear. His danger sense went into hyperdrive. It hurt!

Obi-Wan jerked away, just in time to see Master Qui-Gon get pushed down and several felines jump towards him. The hum of a lightsaber split the air and the crowd fell back as his Master shouted, "Run, Padawan!"

He did not need to be told twice. Grabbing his lightsaber, he slashed at the King, singeing his fur slightly, and the enormous feline yelped in surprise. The slicing claws retracted for just a moment but it was enough. Obi-Wan ran toward his Master's side and they leapt free of the enraged mob, running for the shuttle.

Howling at the fleeing pair, the Cetrinoids bound after them, shouting, spitting their rage at being denied. But the Jedi were faster. Closing the shuttle door milliseconds before the first of the felines arrived, they could hear the fury of the crowd. The shuttle moved slightly as the guards began to pound on the door.

Powering up, Master Qui-Gon quickly yanked on the stick and the Jedi's ship roared away, the howls and taunts of the crowd still coming through the intercom.

And that is when Obi-Wan heard the words. _Pathetic lifeforms_. Several other sounds had followed but he did not speak their language. He assumed that there were more insults.

Luckily, they made it out all in one piece. The rough flying eased and his Master gave a relieved sigh, then turning to Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was grinning as he asked, "So, my young Padawan, you think that they insulted us?"

Obi-Wan quickly replied, "No, Master." But then he thought better of it, his lips thinning for a moment. "Eemmm...yes, Master. We are not pathetic."

"No, we are not. But we were not invited there to be insulted."

"Of course not, Master. But why did they want us there? It couldn't have been for diplomatic reasons. They didn't seem to want to talk, just hovered over me, petting my hair, and licking me. Then the king began to chew on my ear. It was disgusting." He brushed his torn and wet cloak. "He got drool everywhere."

"No, Obi-Wan. You are right. We were lured there under false pretenses. They didn't want to talk. They had other motives in mind." Qui-Gon's smile grew wider. "Did you understand what they were saying as we flew off?"

The teen frowned in bewilderment. "No, Master. I don't speak Cetrinism."

The Jedi Master began to chuckle. "Apparently, they were quite unhappy that their lunch was getting away."

Obi-Wan's eyes grew huge as he realized just what his Master was saying.

"Yes, Padawan, I was to be the main course at their annual feast." He paused dramatically and then said, "And you - my young, very pathetic lifeform - you were dessert!"

The end.


End file.
